by 🌸

Trust is… practically the building block of all relationships, be it friendships or kinship or a romantic relationship.

To put it simply, trust is incredibly important in terms of entering/maintaining a relationship. I have had the experience of fucking things up and then attempting to patch things up, but ultimately, the trust is just no longer there anymore and there was nothing much that could be done about it.

Trust… it goes both ways. It’s hard to just trust somebody immediately (for most). You gotta talk to the person, get to know them a little bit better, and open up to them slowly as they open up to you. For me, i believe i trust people very easily, or at least, based on my gut feeling. I have made the mistake of trusting the wrong people, forgiving them only for them to break that trust. Yet, i still find myself trusting them. Not once, not twice, but thrice.

I find that trust is a very ‘lay all the cards on the table’ kinda thing-you can’t go round it like you would beat around the bush when it comes to something else. It’s okay to not be able to trust someone, we’re all human, and we have our own gut feelings/etcetera. But scheming? Twisting things just so you could see if the said person can be trusted? That’s bullshit.

I am appalled because i gave my all and trusted wholeheartedly. I will accept that it happened because doubts needed to be cleared up, and whatever ‘secrets’ were told to me, i will keep mum. But the trust that i had so blindly given out, has been thrown back in my face. This is the greatest fucking form of betrayal i have ever experienced, and i am massively hurt.

The funny thing is, i can’t even trust myself to even think about whether whatever ‘secrets’ or words said to me were truly genuine.