Why?

by baekcat

Why?

What did I ever do? I try my best, but apparently it’s not enough. Will it ever?

Have you ever treated me as a proper friend? A human being with feelings whom you consider yourself rather close to and fond of? Or am I just someone who’s very nice to be nice to whenever you need something new and shit on behind my back?

This kind of ridicule, I refuse to put myself through. I may be bad tempered, I may appear coarse and rash, but I do not treat my friends like shit. Yes, I get annoyed sometimes, I get mad, but I never face my friends with half hearted feelings. You told me, that you’ve never been able to see through me, but if I were treating you guys with a sincere heart, it would be the same as well.

I just… How do you live with yourself?

All awhile long I’ve been nothing but the most sincere, I may have trouble showing my sincerity most of the time, but I was hoping that my sincerity would still shine through whatever walls I put up.

Disappointed. That’s how I feel. Not anger, not sad, not unbearably pissed, but disappointment.

I thought you all were my friends.

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